Choosing Your Career: A Simple Guide to Making the Right Choice

Wednesday, May 29, 2024

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Throughout my life, I’ve had this desire to become a doctor. This aspiration was born when I was just a 5-year-old child. In my young eyes, doctors were not just professionals; they were saviors and protectors. Living in a small rural area in Jamaica, the concept of doctors was somewhat elusive to me. They resided in a distant place where people sought help only in times of grave illness, injury, old age, or childbirth. Despite never having visited a doctor myself, the idea of these healers stuck with me, embodying kindness, salvation, and protection.

As a child, I'd envisioned myself being a doctor. I'd picture myself in a hospital, entering patients' rooms, sharing funny anecdotes, and bringing smiles to their faces. My aim was simple – to spread joy and happiness through conversation, without delving into surgical procedures or blood-related tasks. But I still wanted the doctor title which held a special allure for me, symbolizing compassion and care.

During my high school years, I finally learned the name of the specialized doctor I'd always envisioned myself as: a psychiatrist. Immersing myself in literature on psychologists and psychiatrists, a book by child psychiatrist Dr. Bruce Perry titled "The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog" deeply impacted me. It unveiled the emotional intricacies of working with children, prompting a shift in my focus towards child psychiatry. Witnessing the vulnerability of children and recognizing the potential for genuine impact, I felt a calling to pursue this path.


Every step I took in life was aimed at realizing my goal of becoming a child psychiatrist. From the jobs I took, to even my romantic preferences unknowingly gravitating towards individuals in the medical field, specifically doctors. I would always say, “doctors are attracted to me," but now I know that doctors were the only ones I would allow to pursue me. This deep-rooted desire stemmed from my childhood perception of doctors as benevolent figures.

Upon completing my undergraduate studies and then reluctantly setting my sights on graduate school before applying to medical school, I knew something would have to eventually give. I knew in my heart I did not want to be in school anymore. I had lost my love and zest for school; it had become a frustrating and hard means to an end. But I didn't see a way out of that trajectory I had created for myself. To stop would mean I was a failure, right? But in my heart I did want to stop, but again I didn't know how to.

However, a serendipitous encounter with a documentary subject reshaped my perspective. The documentary featured individuals in diverse professions, but it was the theater actress's remark that brought in a strong epiphany for me at such a pivotal moment in my life and career. The actress was a small town, theater actress who also taught children the arts. She said when she was younger her dream was to become a big Hollywood movie star. I could relate to her as that was once my dream too, but I had instead chosen the intellectual path because I figured I had more control over it than having to always audition for parts and be at somebody else’s mercy.

She went on to say that she ran herself ragged going to audition after audition without getting the results she desired. She was putting in maximum effort and still not getting her desired results. Then one day she decided to stop and self-evaluate, reflecting on her life and goals. She decided to ask herself some pertinent questions about why those goals were important to her. 

Why do you want to be an Hollywood actress? she asked herself.
Her answer was because she enjoyed the arts, orchestrating the shows, and having an audience come out to enjoy it.

Her introspection led her to realize that her ultimate goal was not fame in Hollywood, but rather the fulfillment derived from engaging with audiences and orchestrating performances.

And alas, the light bulb moment came for her. She realized she could fulfill those desires even if they were not on as grand of a scale as Hollywood.

The Questions 

Right in that moment I decided to ask myself the same questions, as I too was at a crossroads and needed answers.

Why do you want to be a child psychiatrist so badly, Simone?
Why that career specifically and not a counselor or anything else?

Be absolutely brutally honest with yourself.

It was at that moment of reflection that I traced the origin of that desire. I saw myself as a 5 year old child daydreaming about visiting patients in hospital rooms and making them laugh and happy. Oh, wow, I thought to myself. That was where it started, it was there when I was 5. But why did it begin then, what triggered that desire?

It was my older cousin, he was badly hurt on that day, there was a board with nails embedded in his head, he was bleeding profusely. Everyone was crying, we thought he was going to die. A motorcycle came by and took him to that faraway hospital out of our rural community. I was so worried for him. But he had come back days later, alive and well.

I had known I didn't want to deal with blood after seeing how badly hurt he was but I wanted to be a doctor and make things better for others, as it was for him. My desire to become a doctor had come from a deep emotional reaction I had to seeing my cousin severely injured.

However, I now question whether this desire stemmed from a true calling or was it there simply because of an emotional response beyond my comprehension as a 5-year-old. Was it a true desire, or a sad emotional connection I could not analyze intently as a 5 year old child? 

Again, my inner voice asked, Okay, Simone, Great. Now that you can see where it stemmed from, tell me more. Why do you still want to be a doctor, a child psychiatrist, what is it about that career field that makes you want to be that?

My Answers 

 My answers:

1. To Help Vulnerable Children: If you can help children in their childhood it changes the entire trajectory of their life. It gives them a chance to thrive instead of merely surviving or tolerating their adulthood.

2. Prestige and Respect: Having a doctor title is quite prestigious and respected in society.

3. Financial Stability: They make good money.

Great, now do you have to be a child psychiatrist to be able to help children, have prestige and make good money?

Bingo. No, no, I do not. I could receive those 3 core desires in myriad ways.

The world’s playing field had opened up to me. I could do and become anything I desired to become or try out as long as those three core goals were being met.

I realized there exist numerous paths to achieve these goals beyond a singular career choice. This newfound perspective broadened my horizons, unveiling myriad of possibilities to make a meaningful impact, earn respect, and secure financial stability.

Right away, I stopped stressing about my graduate school application. I knew I did not desire to be in school anymore. I was just simply going through the motions of what I thought was the next step but absolutely despising it.

I realized that the decisions I had been making for my life up until that point was based on an emotional reaction I had as a 5 year old child. My desire to be a doctor as altruistic as it seemed was not a deep inner calling but a 5 year old child thinking it was cool to be a doctor who saved lives. I’m done with that cycle of my life.

That realization was transformative for me. Imagine, a five year old child living out my adulthood for me, but that was exactly what was happening and how I was living my life.

As far as fulfilling those 3 career desires, I’ve done that. All else is bonuses.

-My mom and I co-founded a non-profit organization that helps our community in Jamaica. Our annual initiatives provide essentials such as food, toys and school supplies to children and families in the community. This endeavor not only fulfilled my desire for aiding children but extended to benefit the community at large.

-As I delve deeper into my spiritual journey, I discovered an internal prestige and fulfillment independent of external titles or accolades. This intrinsic self-worth transcends materialistic pursuits, grounding me in a profound self-assurance that no external validation could match.

-Money, well I have that too lol. Of course more wouldn’t hurt.

Financially stable and emotionally fulfilled, I realized that my initial career path had served its purpose. I embraced a newfound freedom to explore diverse opportunities, unshackled from the constraints of outdated dreams. The pursuit of wealth transformed into a holistic approach to abundance encompassing spiritual enrichment and community service.


Nothing is no longer a means to an end for me. I truly enjoy every part of the journey. Even something as tedious as writing a blog post brings me immense joy. I do it because I truly enjoy doing it and there is a desire to contribute in this way. Writing these pieces it helps me as much as it may help someone else reading it.   

If I do decide to go back to school and I just may, it will be purely because there is a desire to learn more about a topic of interest and the camaraderie provided in that setting instead of it merely being a means to an end.

Today, as I reflect on my journey, I've embraced a life of intentionality and purpose. Each endeavor, no longer a means to an end but a source of intrinsic joy and fulfillment.

The realization that my childhood dreams, though noble, were a reflection of youthful admiration rather than an innate calling, empowered me to redefine success and purpose on my own terms. Liberated from the confines of antiquated aspirations, I am now on a path of self-discovery and conscious decision-making.

Now You

-Are you holding yourself to desires you cultivated as a child instead of allowing them to evolve with your growth?

-Are you holding yourself to antiquated expectations without deep diving into the reason behind the desire?

-Why that?

-What is it about that thing that makes you feel that is the direction you should go?

-Are you living your life on autopilot trying to accomplish desires you made during an emotional or traumatic state, or simply because it is a means to an end?

-Do you even realize that you made the decision then?

Is your life intentional or is it reaction-based? Is it based on what is happening to you, with you or in your surroundings?

-What outdated dreams are you living out, playing out for your life?

What are you holding onto that no longer serves you?

What goals did you make in your younger years that you no longer need?

Isn’t it time to bless it, thank it and let it go?

Aren’t you now at a place where you can make better rational, heartfelt decisions and goals?

-Why do you feel you must be loyal to decisions you made when you didn’t have all of the critical thinking skills you have now?

Free yourself from antiquated dreams. Give yourself permission to move on, to live. To be. You have the right to change your mind, reroute or simply make a better decision for your life based on your own evolution. Give yourself permission to create a new life, a new dream, a new goal, a new desire.

Your life wants you to be intentional. It wants you to make decisions based on the knowledge you’ve acquired instead of on past moments you were simply reacting to.

Embrace change, follow your inner guidance, and create a life that reflects your evolving desires and aspirations. Grant yourself the freedom to evolve, to redefine success, and to chart a course that reflects the essence of who you are today. See change as a catalyst for personal reinvention, allowing your inner voice to guide you towards a life rich in purpose, fulfillment, and genuine self-expression.

Release the grip of antiquated dreams, and step boldly into a reality where your aspirations align harmoniously with your evolving self.

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Now You

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS IN THE COMMENTS. Your perspective adds a unique flavor to the discussion!

As Always:

Your Bff,


Hey, I'm Simone


Hey there, I'm Simone, your premier dating expert at Women Lead Men Follow, dedicated to empowering women to lead the way to marriage on their timeline, while he takes the step to propose.

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