After accomplishing these milestones – graduating from college (and may I say without any debt), traveling the globe, and enjoying a myriad of experiences – I felt a sense of fulfillment and self-confidence. I had proven to myself that I could thrive independently. It was then that I felt ready to consider a serious relationship leading to marriage.

My journey had equipped me with the wisdom to navigate romantic relationships effectively, recognizing when to walk away and who to avoid. I remember an incident with my now-husband early in our courtship. He suggested a trip to Italy and later tried to use it as leverage during a disagreement. I quickly set him straight, reminding him of my past travels, one of which I spent a year living in Europe. In fact, I had met him only a week after moving back to the States from living in Germany.

The conversation went something similar to the below:

Him: “And I was planning on taking you to Italy, but I guess not.”

My response immediately was: “Listen motherfucker (minus the motherfucker lol), do you think I need you or any man to travel to Europe with or anywhere else in the world. You’re out of your (fucking) mind if you think I do. I JUST came back from living in EUROPE. I can go to to Italy or any country there anytime I please, with or without you, so don't think you're doing me any favors or that you're allowing me to experience anything I haven't already experienced. Don't get it twisted.”

He was flabbergasted and tongue tied because he knew damn well I had just moved back from Germany.

His response was: “I’m sorry Simone, that wasn’t what I meant. I was just thinking that it would be nice for us to travel there together.”

My response: “Well, then say that.”

Trust and believe, he never pulled any fuckery like that again. Yes, he was well-off, came from an affluent family but after that first little stunt he pulled that got his ass checked, he never tried that mess again with me. In fact, that was when he knew I wasn't afraid to walk away from the relationship and that we were equals, and if we weren’t equals, that meant I was the one who was above him, irrespective of his material status.

I say this to say, without fulfilling those desires I had within myself I wouldn’t have known if I could do it on my own.