"Divorce is ugly" but is it really?

Monday, May 20, 2024

Primary Blog/Most Popular/"Divorce is ugly" but is it really?
truth about Fatherless Men

Is Divorce Ugly?

I think divorce can get ugly depending on the maturity level of your partner or you.

But my unpopular opinion is that divorce can be beautiful. It signifies a pivotal moment in life where you acknowledge that the path you were once on no longer aligns with your present or future aspirations. Perhaps your partner can no longer evolve alongside you or accompany you on your journey.

While facing loss can be hard especially if you are not tuned into the changes and are emotionally attached to the person and circumstances, there is a profound beauty in this transformative process. Divorce compels you to STOP, face yourself and contemplate your deepest desires. It forces you out of your comfort zone, bringing you directly into the present moment. It prompts you to recognize and embrace who you are becoming, which, in itself, is a truly beautiful aspect of growth.

Despite the unexpected nature of divorce, there are valuable lessons to be learned. It serves as an opportunity for self-reflection, urging you to understand your role in the relationship and the aspects you may have overlooked. Whether the marriage ended due to abuse, neglect, or infidelity, these are difficult realities to face. However, it prompts a crucial question – isn't it more empowering to leave a toxic environment than to remain where your values no longer resonate? Isn't it a sign that you are now ready for the next phase of your life, one that aligns with your true self?

Maybe the divorce wasn’t your idea and it caught you completely off-guard. But there is a lesson there too. What is the part you played or didn’t play? Why did it catch you off-guard? What were you missing that you didn’t tune into?

On the other hand, maybe you were the one who acted out, who cheated, who abused, who emotionally neglected and now life is calling you to face yourself, the part you played and the decisions you made. What lessons have you learned? Have you become a better you since the beginning of your relationship until now? Have you grown? Or have you regressed to a place that is worse off than where you started? What changes or steps can you take to become a better you? A better partner? By acknowledging these lessons, you can evolve into a better version of yourself, fostering the potential for healthier future relationships.

So many live lives on autopilot, in a zoned out comfortable state, but life calls for your full awareness and conscious choices. It demands your attention.

Male Con Artists

Then there are marriages where one partner stagnates, resists personal growth, or becomes a burden or dead weight to the other, therefore creating challenges in the relationship. Ironically enough, men are usually the ones who become the dead weight and are simply being dragged along by their partner.

Naturally women tend to the marriage through the home, being a caregiver to the children and tending to the man's needs, regardless of her own employment status. It's almost like there is an inbuilt system in marriage that is set-up for women to “naturally fall into” this work. But what can men say they contribute to the marriage? Going to their job (hence providing financially, if at all) and sex (if they haven't checked out from that too, or their little thingy no longer works). But let me tell you males, THAT IS NOT ENOUGH to make a marriage work! And women are no longer tolerating the bullshit. Just know that!

Some men see marriage as a place to park their lazy asses and to drop off their inefficiencies onto their wives. And that simply cannot work. Fuck a vow. This imbalance is unsustainable, but how long it lasts is usually up to how long the woman is willing to carry his weight before she reaches a breaking point. It can go on for a while unless past experiences dictate otherwise, or children come into the picture to jolt her awake to the compete imbalance of responsibilities and the weight she carries for him.

Men hide their laziness under an exterior masculinity that acts like it's capable and productive and can effortlessly manage not only its weight but that of the world. However, I have observed that men are often comfortable with being lazy and offloading their responsibilities onto women. While they may outwardly point to all the things they are doing to contribute #GoingToWork #PayingTheBills, as though they wouldn't do that regardless of if she's there or not, the reality is that their productivity facade is a mere illusion; their wives will tell you the truth. Imagine a multitude of men evading their responsibilities and burdening the very "fragile species” they claim to protect. How's that for a con? It's nothing but a deceptive charade that raises questions about authenticity and mutual respect in relationships.

Building a strong and lasting marriage requires a more equitable division of responsibilities, mutual respect, emotional connection, and shared efforts towards growth and harmony.


Marriage 

Marriage is a dynamic journey that demands ACTIVE participation and equal effort from BOTH partners (this has nothing to do with who pays the bill, *cough, men should 😜). It necessitates a shared commitment to evolve and progress both separately and together, supporting each other through life's challenges. By carrying your own weight and allowing your partner to do the same, a harmonious and fulfilling partnership can flourish. It's about growing alongside each other, embracing change, and making a conscious choice to be better individuals and companions.

In essence, marriage, when approached consciously and lovingly, can indeed be a beautiful union. It requires effort from both partners to grow and evolve together, fostering honesty, kindness, love, and grace within the relationship. Each individual must first focus on personal growth and then collaborate on mutual development with a willingness to put in the effort.

And if that cannot happen, I think divorce can be a grand opportunity to get back to yourself and your desires. Divorce, at its core, offers a profound opportunity for self-discovery and personal growth. It allows you to reconnect with your inner self, understand the lessons learned, and envision a brighter future. By reflecting on past experiences, you can determine how to become a better version of yourself and a better partner, whether it is to be more supportive or to stop enabling, carrying, or tolerating somebody else's laziness, abuse, or neglect. It's a chance to redefine the kind of partnership you seek, based on the wisdom gained.


Beauty Through Loss 

 I think beauty can be found through loss, through divorce. I believe that each experience gets us closer to who we are, it wakes us up, and allows us to be more conscious, more present of what is unfolding in our lives and the part we are playing.

I don’t think every relationship, even a marriage has to be a lifelong commitment, regardless of what your vows or anybody else says. You have the right to change, to evolve. Maybe where you were when you made the decision to marry or to marry the person you are with, can only take you to a certain point in your evolution before it becomes stagnant and vice versa. Maybe the other person isn't doing their part or doing right by themself or you, and it is not acceptable to you. So why should you be damned to a hell existence when you are in charge of creating your own life, your own reality.

If life is but a dream, why not choose to dream the impossible dream, the better dream that resonates with your values. Choosing to part ways is not a failure but rather a transformative journey that propels you towards making more conscious and fulfilling decisions. Each experience, whether joyful or painful or a mixture of both, contributes to your self-awareness and consciousness, guiding you towards a more authentic path.

Some individuals may simply enter your life for a moment rather than a lifetime, and that is perfectly acceptable. While loss can be painful, the sting diminishes as you delve deeper into self-evolution and introspection.


Reflection

As I reflect on my past, I realize that what I sought in my youth, during my initial relationships and first marriage, no longer aligns with my present desires and aspirations. Back then, emotional intelligence was a concept unknown to me, a crucial quality essential in both myself and my partner. I was navigating in survival mode, making decisions based on my limited experiences and existing belief system. While these decisions were not misguided, I was doing the best I could with the tools and understanding available to me at that point in my life. And for that, I am not sorry, I owe no apology.

Life is a continuous series of ebbs and flows, pushing you out of your comfort zone and awakening you to new possibilities. Despite the hardships and pains along the way, there is inherent beauty in the transformative process. Marriage, particularly when nurtured with kindness, consciousness, and love, can be a profound and enriching experience. And yet, if a marriage falls short of these ideals, there is also beauty in the courage to acknowledge the need for change or the decision to embark on a new path.

In essence, marriage and divorce, when approached with introspection, growth, and conscious effort, can lead to profound self-discovery, personal evolution, and the possibility of creating truly beautiful and meaningful connections in life.

🌟 FREE Access for Ladies:
Unlock the secrets
to Your dream relationship
on your timeline, while he proposes! ​


Discover THE #1 DATING SYSTEM for
​Women Ready to Take Control,
While Still Embracing His Traditional Courting –
Dive In Now!

Learn the Ultimate Secret to Having Your Dates HAPPILY Shower You with Gifts, Even if They've Never Done It Before!

Learn Proven Strategies to Get Him to Ask You Out and Uncover a Treasure Trove of Dating Secrets! 

 
🔓 Click Below to Immediately Access Our
Exclusive Gift-Getting Guide and Many More Dating Secrets

🕒 Start Your Free Trial In Less Than 60 Seconds * Cancel Anytime 


Join the conversation

Now You

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS IN THE COMMENTS. Your perspective adds a unique flavor to the discussion!

As Always:

Your Bff,
Simone

CUSTOM JAVASCRIPT / HTML
simone-profile

Hey, I'm Simone

LEADING DATING & RELATIONSHIP EXPERT

Hey there, I'm Simone, your premier dating expert at Women Lead Men Follow, dedicated to empowering women to lead the way to marriage on their timeline, while he takes the step to propose.

With over a decade of proven success and a degree in Family Science, I've guided women aged 25 to 54 to effortlessly achieve their dream relationships and experience that magical proposal moment.

Embark on a transformative journey with me to unlock the secrets of feminine leadership and craft a love story that surpasses your favorite Netflix series.

Ready to command your romantic destiny with confidence?
 
Start Your Free Trial Now to Rewrite Your Story with Grace and Empowerment!

Read Along With Us!

💝 Explore More of Simone's Exclusive DATING TIPS AND EXPERT ADVIce 💝

Don't Let Them Fool You: Why the Grass is Greener on the Other Side

Tuesday, June 11, 2024

Reflection

Sunday, June 02, 2024

Choosing Your Career: A Simple Guide to Making the Right Choice

Wednesday, May 29, 2024

Negative Naysayers

Friday, May 24, 2024

"Divorce is ugly" but is it really?

Monday, May 20, 2024

David

Wednesday, May 08, 2024

🌟 FREE Access for Ladies:
Unlock the secrets
to Your dream relationship
on your timeline, while he proposes! ​


Discover THE #1 DATING SYSTEM for
​Women Ready to Take Control,
While Still Embracing His Traditional Courting –
Dive In Now!

Learn the Ultimate Secret to Having Your Dates HAPPILY Shower You with Gifts, Even if They've Never Done It Before!

Learn Proven Strategies to Get Him to Ask You Out and Uncover a Treasure Trove of Dating Secrets! 

 
🔓 Click Below to Immediately Access Our
Exclusive Gift-Getting Guide and Many More Dating Secrets

🕒 Start Your Free Trial In Less Than 60 Seconds * Cancel Anytime