Then there are marriages where one partner stagnates, resists personal growth, or becomes a burden or dead weight to the other, therefore creating challenges in the relationship. Ironically enough, men are usually the ones who become the dead weight and are simply being dragged along by their partner.

Naturally women tend to the marriage through the home, being a caregiver to the children and tending to the man's needs, regardless of her own employment status. It's almost like there is an inbuilt system in marriage that is set-up for women to “naturally fall into” this work. But what can men say they contribute to the marriage? Going to their job (hence providing financially, if at all) and sex (if they haven't checked out from that too, or their little thingy no longer works). But let me tell you males, THAT IS NOT ENOUGH to make a marriage work! And women are no longer tolerating the bullshit. Just know that!

Some men see marriage as a place to park their lazy asses and to drop off their inefficiencies onto their wives. And that simply cannot work. Fuck a vow. This imbalance is unsustainable, but how long it lasts is usually up to how long the woman is willing to carry his weight before she reaches a breaking point. It can go on for a while unless past experiences dictate otherwise, or children come into the picture to jolt her awake to the compete imbalance of responsibilities and the weight she carries for him.

Men hide their laziness under an exterior masculinity that acts like it's capable and productive and can effortlessly manage not only its weight but that of the world. However, I have observed that men are often comfortable with being lazy and offloading their responsibilities onto women. While they may outwardly point to all the things they are doing to contribute #GoingToWork #PayingTheBills, as though they wouldn't do that regardless of if she's there or not, the reality is that their productivity facade is a mere illusion; their wives will tell you the truth. Imagine a multitude of men evading their responsibilities and burdening the very "fragile species” they claim to protect. How's that for a con? It's nothing but a deceptive charade that raises questions about authenticity and mutual respect in relationships.

Building a strong and lasting marriage requires a more equitable division of responsibilities, mutual respect, emotional connection, and shared efforts towards growth and harmony.

Marriage is a dynamic journey that demands ACTIVE participation and equal effort from BOTH partners (this has nothing to do with who pays the bill, *cough, men should 😜). It necessitates a shared commitment to evolve and progress both separately and together, supporting each other through life's challenges. By carrying your own weight and allowing your partner to do the same, a harmonious and fulfilling partnership can flourish. It's about growing alongside each other, embracing change, and making a conscious choice to be better individuals and companions.

In essence, marriage, when approached consciously and lovingly, can indeed be a beautiful union. It requires effort from both partners to grow and evolve together, fostering honesty, kindness, love, and grace within the relationship. Each individual must first focus on personal growth and then collaborate on mutual development with a willingness to put in the effort.

And if that cannot happen, I think divorce can be a grand opportunity to get back to yourself and your desires. Divorce, at its core, offers a profound opportunity for self-discovery and personal growth. It allows you to reconnect with your inner self, understand the lessons learned, and envision a brighter future. By reflecting on past experiences, you can determine how to become a better version of yourself and a better partner, whether it is to be more supportive or to stop enabling, carrying, or tolerating somebody else's laziness, abuse, or neglect. It's a chance to redefine the kind of partnership you seek, based on the wisdom gained.

 I think beauty can be found through loss, through divorce. I believe that each experience gets us closer to who we are, it wakes us up, and allows us to be more conscious, more present of what is unfolding in our lives and the part we are playing.

I don’t think every relationship, even a marriage has to be a lifelong commitment, regardless of what your vows or anybody else says. You have the right to change, to evolve. Maybe where you were when you made the decision to marry or to marry the person you are with, can only take you to a certain point in your evolution before it becomes stagnant and vice versa. Maybe the other person isn't doing their part or doing right by themself or you, and it is not acceptable to you. So why should you be damned to a hell existence when you are in charge of creating your own life, your own reality.

If life is but a dream, why not choose to dream the impossible dream, the better dream that resonates with your values. Choosing to part ways is not a failure but rather a transformative journey that propels you towards making more conscious and fulfilling decisions. Each experience, whether joyful or painful or a mixture of both, contributes to your self-awareness and consciousness, guiding you towards a more authentic path.

Some individuals may simply enter your life for a moment rather than a lifetime, and that is perfectly acceptable. While loss can be painful, the sting diminishes as you delve deeper into self-evolution and introspection.