Should You Teach or Mold Men?

Thursday, August 31, 2023

Primary Blog/Should You Teach or Mold Men?
truth about Fatherless Men


“Never put more efforts into a man than what you’ll get back in return. “ -Simone Idalia Master



Lack of Refinement:

I practically had to TRAIN my boyfriend to enjoy the finer things in life; and now my exquisite taste has become his own. While his success initially drew me in, his lack of refinement posed a challenge. This is mostly due to him being a workaholic and because the women who were in his life before me did not demand much from him. Hence, he was uncouth in many ways. Moreover, his last partner seemed to have been a homebody who seldom went out, dressed up or traveled anywhere, albeit, he had the resources and means. And then there was me—a beacon of elegance and allure ready to explore the world.

From Uncouth to Elegantly Cultured

In the beginning stages of dating, he was quite mediocre at choosing the restaurants and places I wanted to go to until I made him aware of the quality of things I expected; Michelin star restaurants, opera, plays, classical music concerts, travel, etc. He happily obliged after some subtle effort of calculated molding on my part. He begun to thoroughly love and enjoy the things that I did and could even see the quality and substance of it all. We even begun to run into some of his colleague/associates and their spouses at some of these places, which was a good conversation starter for him the following day.

It was as though I opened his eyes to a completely better and more elegant and eloquent world. Of course, I did this only and solely because all of these things benefited me. Nonetheless, I've completely transformed his entire character, lifestyle and being into the upper echelon of things and put his money to good use, instead of having it wasted away on mediocrity.


His next woman:

Here's the thing that kind of irks me. If we break up, the next person coming in behind me will reap the rewards of all the work I've put in. As I said, many of my taste are now his taste. He cannot wait to check out some of the top restaurants and places in our area and is constantly looking at reviews of some of the newest delights for us to enjoy. Now, the next woman coming in will believe she's being wined and dined by him or that he has exquisite taste when I LITERALLY molded and shaped him into that way (the way that I wanted him).

I say this to say, that women should be mindful of the efforts and time they put into and give to a man, especially men who are not your husband and have not legally and tangibly committed to you or benefitted your life. The efforts you put into a man, which you may believe will be solely your reward, may end up benefiting somebody else.

For-example, putting a man through school, giving him funds to better himself or whatever else. Think about what will happen if or when you break up and how somebody else will reap everything you did. The returns might inadvertently flow into another woman's life.

I say this not because I regret any of the efforts I put into my boyfriend, in fact, I do not. None of my efforts cost me anything tangible, such as money. What I did was necessary because it benefitted/benefits me, regardless, if it benefits another woman later on down the road.


I urge women:

In conclusion, I urge women to weigh their investments in men carefully, whether in relationships or other areas of life. The efforts you use to mold him or make him a “better” man should also TANGIBLY benefit you, RIGHT NOW or at least has a quick turn-around, especially during the dating/non-marriage stage. Again, any efforts you expend in shaping a man's character should yield tangible, immediate benefits for you. This way your efforts is not in vain.

If, later on down the road, your efforts also inadvertently benefits somebody else. At the least, you would’ve reaped your reward (by making sure you benefitted).

Remember, do not ever put more into a man than what you will get back out of him, because, like it or not, you may not be there for that long-anticipated reaping season.


*This is also why women may stay in dead end, and stagnant relationships that isn't leading anywhere or even benefitting them. They've invested so much into a man (usually funds, time and resources) and have benefitted HIS life that they are waiting for the time when he will benefit their life. And, unfortunately, with relationship imbalances like these, that time will more than likely never come. And, if it comes for the guy, he will more than likely move on and benefit somebody else who wasn't sitting around waiting for him to level up.

Sometimes you have to cut your losses no matter how much you've invested in someone or how much time it has cost you. Charge it as a lesson fee and call it a day. #CutTheLoss #EmbraceTheLesson

Sidenote- I’m now married to somebody else, not the boyfriend discussed in this piece. So, I’m sure another woman is bragging about his exquisite tastes when I LITERALLY created them for him lol.

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Now You:

- Have you ever molded or taught a man?

-How did it turn out for you? Do share

-Did the article resonate with you?

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS IN THE COMMENTS. Your perspective adds a unique flavor to the discussion!

As Always:

Your Bff,
Simone

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