Soulful Connections: Prioritizing Passions Over Professions

Monday, September 09, 2024

Primary Blog/Most Popular/Soulful Connections: Prioritizing Passions Over Professions

A New Approach to Genuine Connections

I’m trying a new approach to conversation, dating, and connections where I don’t lead with my career, nor do I ask anyone else to lead with theirs.

Discovering True Interests

Understanding someone's job can certainly paint a part of their picture, but it often lacks the depth and vibrancy of who they truly are. What if, instead, we began by exploring the colors of their passions, hobbies, and what truly makes their heart beat a little faster? Imagine discovering what they love to do for fun, the things that light them up, and the moments that make them feel alive.

Knowing the Whole Person

I want to know the totality of a person before knowing their job. I want to see the whole individual before forming preconceived judgments based solely on their career. Too often, we lead with careers, putting people into boxes, and in the process, we miss out on genuine connections. We may overlook people who are more aligned with us simply because we've already summed them up by their job titles or societies notion of their work.

Ambition and Drive Beyond Careers

It's not that I don't care about what a person does. Ambition and drive are qualities I naturally find attractive. However, I've come to understand that a person's ambition, drive, or who they are as an individual often has nothing to do with their job, career, or even their financial status.

Breaking Stereotypes

I've met wealthy individuals who lacked ambition and drive—just lazy blobs existing without purpose. Conversely, I've encountered people who weren't born into wealth and may not be financially established yet, but their drive, ambition, and determination were through the roof. They were vibrant, passionate, and full of life. In 5 to 10 years, you can tell they wouldn't be where they are now.

However, at this phase of my life, that's not necessarily what I'm seeking either.

Seeking Balance

I take a more balanced approach. I'm not attracted to the lazy, sit on your ass and just exist types nor those who evoke no emotional or intellectual capacity. You know, the ones who simply go to work, don't desire to move up or down in their careers, come home, sit on their ass, watch TV, rinse and repeat the cycle without any desire to grow or explore, just mediocre. They bore me. Likewise, I'm not attracted to the super ambitious, driven individuals who need to prove something to themselves or the world (I want to name drop someone but I won't lol, net worth a 100 million and they're still obsessed with money and running their mouth a million miles an hour 🤢). These types tend to be fast talkers, overly focused on material success, and can be energetically exhausting - similar to toddlers who may need to be calmed down and soothed to settle their energy. This, to me, is too much work; being a constant emotional babysitter when they get too overly stimulated, no thank you. While being super ambitious might be great for establishing wealth or making a name, it's not what I'm looking for at this stage in my life/growth.

The Ideal Balance

I'm interested in someone who strikes a balance between these extremes. Someone mellow yet ambitious, passionate, and driven—but not to the extent that they neglect other aspects of their life. I want an all-encompassing person who understands the importance of the physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional facets of life. Someone who makes time for everything that matters to them. Ideally, they would be established career-wise but still retain their drive, passion, and ambition. They should take pride in their overall well-being and enjoy/desire spending quality time with their family. They would understand that just providing financially isn't balanced or fair. They should take a balanced, holistic approach to life and living.

Beyond Financial Status

Thus, I don't believe simply knowing a person's career or financial status is a determining factor for myself in getting to know someone. The career talk can come much later. I want to know the totality of the person first—what brings them joy, their interests, and whether these align with mine. Can we laugh together, cry together, be boring together 😘, shine together & separately, go on adventures together, live together? Are their interests compatible with mine? While not all interests need to align, certain core interests are essential for compatibility.

Aligning Interests and Values

Questions to Ask:

1. Ask About Their Passions and Hobbies

Instead of the standard “What do you do for work?”, try asking:

• "What brings you joy?”

• "What are your interests and hobbies?”

• "What do you enjoy doing on weekends or in your free time?"

• "What’s something you’ve always wanted to do but haven’t yet?”

Discovering these aspects can help determine whether a person's interests align with yours. While not every interest needs to match, having some common ground is crucial for building a meaningful connection.

2. Explore Their Values and Beliefs

Dive deeper into what shapes their worldview:

• "What values are most important to you?”

• "How do you stay true to your beliefs in everyday life?”

• "What experiences have had the most impact on your life?”

These questions can reveal whether a person’s core values align with yours, which is fundamental for any relationship, be it romantic or a friendship

Gradual Discovery

Later on, you can incorporate additional questions to deepen your understanding of each other. The conversation starters below are not meant to be used all at once during your first date or interaction. Instead, they are questions you can gradually introduce over time as you get to know someone better. Take your time in truly understanding them as a person. There is no need to rush this process—genuine connections are built over time.

Note: This approach doesn't apply to the noncommittal fucks who think they can waste a woman's time without any intention of commitment. #Foh

ay close attention to what they say and strive to truly understand them. Allow their words to convey their thoughts and feelings, but also observe their actions. Do their actions align with their words? Consistency between words and actions is a key indicator of authenticity and reliability.

If you're interested in learning more about navigating relationships and protecting yourself, check out this insightful article: "17 Tactics Men Use to Control You in Relationships (And How to Protect Yourself)". It offers valuable tips on identifying and countering controlling behavior in relationships.

3. Understand Their Life Goals

Find out what drives them beyond the professional realm:

• "What are some of your personal goals?”

• “What kind of legacy do you want to leave behind?”

• “How do you balance your various life priorities?”

4. Discuss Their Daily Life and Routines

Get a glimpse into their everyday world:

• “What does a typical day look like for you?”

• “How do you unwind after a long day?”

• “What are some of your favorite ways to spend your free time?”

5. Share Your Own Story

Open up about your interests and values to create a mutual exchange:

• “I love traveling and exploring new cultures. What about you?”

• “Spirituality is a big part of my life. How do you connect with your inner self?”

• “I enjoy writing and reading. Do you have any favorite books or authors?”

6. Look for Common Ground

Seek areas of alignment and shared interests:

• “Do you enjoy outdoor activities? I love hiking and nature walks.”

• “Are you interested in personal growth? I find it fascinating to learn new things and improve myself.”

• “Do you like exploring different cuisines? I’m a foodie and love trying new restaurants.”

7. Embrace Diversity

Celebrate differences and learn from each other’s unique perspectives:

• “I’ve never tried that before, tell me more!”

• “That’s such an interesting viewpoint. How did you come to see things that way?”

• “I’d love to learn more about your culture and traditions.”

By shifting the focus from careers to the totality of the person, you can foster deeper, more authentic connections. You can appreciate the richness of each other’s lives and form bonds that are based on genuine understanding and shared values.

8. Questions with No Intent:

I also like to ask questions that doesn't mean anything or lead anywhere. They're just questions to know more about the person as an individual, yet it isn't anything that can be used for any other means besides knowing. For-example, I like to ask what someone's favorite fruit is. I don't really know why lol, but I do. I don't do anything with the info, not even to buy them their favorite fruit, it's just something I'm honestly curious to know.

What are some of the questions you like to ask that don’t necessarily have an end goal but simply reflect your genuine interest in getting to know someone better, even in the little, seemingly insignificant ways?

The Importance of a Balanced Life

Additionally, understanding their views on integrity is important. But I feel that may be redundant. I believe that someone who understands the importance of the totality of life—physical, mental, spiritual, and emotional aspects—naturally embodies integrity and a strong value system. They likely have a balanced approach to life, making time for all the things that matter to them.

Balanced Life:

• "How do you balance your work and personal life?”

• "What practices do you follow for mental and spiritual well-being?”

• "How do you maintain your physical health?”

These questions can help you gauge whether someone prioritizes a holistic approach to life.

Knowing Who You Are

It's important to know who you are, where you are in your life, and what you want to get out of it. It's okay not to have all the answers right now or to make mistakes. Life is a journey of continuous learning and growth.

Self-Discovery:

• "What have you learned about yourself recently?”

• "How do you reflect on your experiences and grow from them?”

• "What are your goals for the future?”

By understanding yourself, you can better seek out individuals who align with your vision and aspirations.

Different Stages of Life

It's also important to understand the stage of life you're in. For-example, a person in their 20s, especially if childless, may be attracted to the ambitious, determined individuals who put everything into their careers. That was attractive to me then too. Conversely, someone seeking a family life may prefer a partner who has an established job, comes home, and is a consistent physical and emotional presence.

Embracing Authentic Connections

Embracing authentic connections opens doors to myriad experiences you may have overlooked before. This approach can lead to an eclectic group of friends and love interests, diverse in background, age, race, religion and social status. You'll have the opportunity to meet amazing people who might be outside your usual circle, and the beauty of it all is that you would be spectacularly aligned. You would feel seen and understood, and so would they.

One of my favorite experiences from working traditional jobs was forming friendships with people from various age groups and backgrounds. We shared so much laughter, wisdom, and had wonderful conversations. At my first job, my best friend was 46 while I was just 18. Similarly, during my time in the military, at 25, my closest friends were 21, 73, and a man in his 40s. Despite our differences, we were spectacularly aligned.

When we stop seeing people solely through the lens of their careers or other superficial labels, and instead appreciate their unique qualities, so many beautiful doors open up. This shift in perspective allows for wonderful connections and opportunities to unfold, enriching our lives in ways we might never have imagined.

Emphasizing Genuine Human Connections

By shifting the focus from careers to the totality of the person, you can foster deeper, more authentic connections. You can appreciate the richness of each other’s lives and form bonds that are based on genuine understanding and shared values.

Practices to Embrace:

• Ask Deeper Questions: Move beyond the surface-level questions about work and delve into what truly matters to them.

• Share Your Own Passions: Be open about what lights you up and see how they respond.

• Value Diversity: Embrace and celebrate the differences in background, culture, and experiences.

Moving Forward

In this new era of my life, I’m choosing not to lead with careers, as I find it superficial and limiting. Instead, I want to know the person behind the job title—I want to hear about their joys, passions, and what makes them come alive. By focusing on these aspects, I believe we can unlock countless beautiful doors, opening up the possibility of creating spectacularly aligned relationships, whether as friends or romantic partners. I think this authentic level of communication will lessen fear, intimidation, or feelings of being used, taken for granted, or misunderstood. I think this is one of the ways forward, where we value the person and not just the worker.

🌟 FREE Access for Ladies:
Unlock the secrets
to Your dream relationship
on your timeline, while he proposes!

Discover THE #1 DATING SYSTEM for
Taking Control,
While Still Embracing His Traditional Courting!

Learn the Ultimate Secret to Having Your Dates HAPPILY Shower You with Gifts, Even if They've Never Done It Before!

Learn Proven Strategies to Get Him to Ask You Out and Uncover a Treasure Trove of Dating Secrets!

🔓 Click Below to Immediately Access Our
Exclusive Gift-Getting Guide and Many More Dating Secrets.

🎁 Get INSTANT FREE ACCESS >>100% RISK-FREE TRIAL FOR $0 TODAY!

🕒 Start Your Free Trial In Less Than 60 Seconds * Cancel Anytime

Join the conversation

Now You

SHARE YOUR THOUGHTS IN THE COMMENTS. Your perspective adds a unique flavor to the discussion!

As Always:

Your Bff,
Simone

Simone Idalia Master

CUSTOM JAVASCRIPT / HTML

Hey, I'm Simone

LEADING DATING & RELATIONSHIP EXPERT

Hey there, I'm Simone, your premier dating expert at Women Lead Men Follow, dedicated to empowering women to lead the way to marriage on their timeline, while he takes the step to propose.

With over a decade of proven success and a degree in Family Science, I've guided women aged 25 to 54 to effortlessly achieve their dream relationships and experience that magical proposal moment.

Embark on a transformative journey with me to unlock the secrets of feminine leadership and craft a love story that surpasses your favorite Netflix series.

Ready to command your romantic destiny with confidence?

Start Your Free Trial Now to Rewrite Your Story with Grace and Empowerment!