The term 'strong' is not the problem. What is problematic is how they use it to absolve themselves of their wrongdoings against you. Labeling the unprotected, the abused, the overworked, and the mistreated as 'strong' is merely a cover-up for their abuse.

When people are hailed as 'strong' for merely surviving in the world, without acknowledging the unfair starting point, the abuse, the lack of support, and protection, it leads to a turning of a blind eye to the injustice. Consequently, the powerful state of being 'strong' becomes a scapegoat for these injustices. Now, 'strength' and 'being strong' feel synonymous with 'being used and abused.' The term 'strength' has taken an unwarranted beating, just as the mistreated.

Most of us need support. We need a healthy balance of resilience and vulnerability; of strength and softness. We don't need to be told we are strong when we are actually being mistreated, overlooked, or exploited. It is disingenuous.

We need the truth to be told.

Most of us haven't had the chance to experience genuine strength. Most of us don't know what strength feels like outside of abuse, mistreatment, or survival. We haven't experienced the beauty of an untainted strength that isn't molded or dictated by abuse.

It's time to reestablish a correct relationship with the word 'strength.' This will happen when people stop using the word to excuse their abuse.

The next time someone labels you as 'strong,' speak up and let them know, "While it may appear as strength, it is, in fact, abuse, mistreatment, and exploitation. It is being unfairly overworked, and being left behind to bear sole responsibility for care giving. Yes, while a type of strength is built through it, what it truly is, is unkindness, a lack of support, and protection."

Let's call it what it is. Let's call a spade a spade.

Inform them that while they are appeasing their conscience by labeling you as 'strong,' you are actually shouldering the burden of their abuse.

Make it clear, their version of 'strong' is built on the backbone of your abuse, and you will no longer bear it.